What. The. Hell???
My name is Sonja Landis.
My Master's Degree
was pretty worthless
in the Real World...
and the recession
kicked my ass a lil bit.
I don't want that to
happen to you.
Listen to my story;
save yourself the pain.
(and A LOT of money...)
Any dipshit
can write a book.
Proof Positive:
LOL - and you're right! I'm not really a dipshit...
(or at least not entirely...)
I'm actually phenomenal.
This is my Book and my Bio:
Education:
BAE in Education, Arizona State University
(Go Devils!)
MSA in Organizational Business Development and Marketing, Central Michigan University
REAL WORLD ROCKET-SCIENTIST IN MODERN-DAY BUSINESS STRATEGIES, WHICH I GOT BY GETTING MY ASS-KICKED A FEW TIMES...
Work Experience:
"Beer Tub Girl" and Waitress
Teacher, McKemy Junior High School, Tempe AZ
Captain, RC-135 Rivet Joint, United States Air Force
Mom, and then Single-Mom
Bunch o' Shitty "Corporate America" Jobs I Hated
Artist, The Painted Laugh, Solana Beach CA
www.thepaintedlaugh.com
Author of THIS Amazing and Funny Book
Accomplishments:
Air Medal, Aerial Achievement Medal, Expeditionary Air ForceMedal, Outstanding Unit Award with Valor.... decorated Officer and Vet, Iraqi Freedom... Billy Belchor Outstanding Athlete Award... Delivered an 8lb. 4 oz. baby boy with 15 INCH shoulders. (Goodness!) I also went to Military Survival School for us "flyers" in the winter in the mountains of Washington state, which totally sucked. I hated that shit. I'd rather deliver more big effing babies than ever do that shit again!
Opened my own Art Gallery. Closed my own Art Gallery. Wrote a great book - THIS book!!! Right here... yes, this is the one I'm talking about here on this website! Promoted myself shamelessly like crazy to obtain Celebrity Clients, Corporate Sponsorships, and Non-Profit Charity/Foundation involvement.
I tan easily and make an amazing Peach Sangria, one of the couple cocktails I encourage on your journey to creative Entrepreneurship. I can cuss like a sailor, much to the chagrin of my Mom, who probably doesn't consider that a real "Accomplishment."
I also date a creative and talented entrepreneur like myself and a talented Artist/Musician/Producer/Writer. I love his work, and he loves mine, which is one of the reasons we are a Power Couple indeed! True story. I'm actually going to marry him someday, because he's amazeballs in every way. I know Chelsea Handler dated a Musician too with 50 Cent, but that's totes coincidence. I was with mine first, plus her and 50 broke up of course. Duh! Like, a long time ago! So anywho, my guy thinks I have the softest skin in the world, so I'm adding it to my Accomplishments list. Good man. Love. Softest skin ever. (My favorite lotion is Origins Ginger Souffle and, yes, I highly recommend!)
My son is amazing, smart, funny, handsome, cool, honest, fair, creative. He is just about my biggest Accomplishment in the history of everything that happened because of me, and he is the inspiration behind everything I do... Because I love him more than anything, I was brave enough to decide to live my greatest life. I didn't want to tell him to go for his dreams (but model the opposite behavior). I needed to SHOW him. So I did. It's part of the legacy I want to build for him and our family. The legacy of taking creative action. One rule in our family: Life is not a spectator sport. Another rule: Keep moving forward... ebb and flow on the river of life, but keep moving forward. (If you're wondering, we also have rules like put your god#*mn dirty socks in the hamper and normal stuff too.)
Which leads me to the other of my biggest Accomplishments, Business & Personal... and that's being truly happy. I build my dreams everyday, learn, try, triumph, and step into each day with gratitude and high expectations. I am fulfilled. AND I give all these things to other people as part of my True Purpose here on Earth. I help people acheive greatness. I make people laugh. People are better, smarter, happier, more inspired, or all of those things because of their connection and interaction with ME. That. is. awesome. Yay for the good life! (High-five, Kanye!)
BAE in Education, Arizona State University
(Go Devils!)
MSA in Organizational Business Development and Marketing, Central Michigan University
REAL WORLD ROCKET-SCIENTIST IN MODERN-DAY BUSINESS STRATEGIES, WHICH I GOT BY GETTING MY ASS-KICKED A FEW TIMES...
Work Experience:
"Beer Tub Girl" and Waitress
Teacher, McKemy Junior High School, Tempe AZ
Captain, RC-135 Rivet Joint, United States Air Force
Mom, and then Single-Mom
Bunch o' Shitty "Corporate America" Jobs I Hated
Artist, The Painted Laugh, Solana Beach CA
www.thepaintedlaugh.com
Author of THIS Amazing and Funny Book
Accomplishments:
Air Medal, Aerial Achievement Medal, Expeditionary Air ForceMedal, Outstanding Unit Award with Valor.... decorated Officer and Vet, Iraqi Freedom... Billy Belchor Outstanding Athlete Award... Delivered an 8lb. 4 oz. baby boy with 15 INCH shoulders. (Goodness!) I also went to Military Survival School for us "flyers" in the winter in the mountains of Washington state, which totally sucked. I hated that shit. I'd rather deliver more big effing babies than ever do that shit again!
Opened my own Art Gallery. Closed my own Art Gallery. Wrote a great book - THIS book!!! Right here... yes, this is the one I'm talking about here on this website! Promoted myself shamelessly like crazy to obtain Celebrity Clients, Corporate Sponsorships, and Non-Profit Charity/Foundation involvement.
I tan easily and make an amazing Peach Sangria, one of the couple cocktails I encourage on your journey to creative Entrepreneurship. I can cuss like a sailor, much to the chagrin of my Mom, who probably doesn't consider that a real "Accomplishment."
I also date a creative and talented entrepreneur like myself and a talented Artist/Musician/Producer/Writer. I love his work, and he loves mine, which is one of the reasons we are a Power Couple indeed! True story. I'm actually going to marry him someday, because he's amazeballs in every way. I know Chelsea Handler dated a Musician too with 50 Cent, but that's totes coincidence. I was with mine first, plus her and 50 broke up of course. Duh! Like, a long time ago! So anywho, my guy thinks I have the softest skin in the world, so I'm adding it to my Accomplishments list. Good man. Love. Softest skin ever. (My favorite lotion is Origins Ginger Souffle and, yes, I highly recommend!)
My son is amazing, smart, funny, handsome, cool, honest, fair, creative. He is just about my biggest Accomplishment in the history of everything that happened because of me, and he is the inspiration behind everything I do... Because I love him more than anything, I was brave enough to decide to live my greatest life. I didn't want to tell him to go for his dreams (but model the opposite behavior). I needed to SHOW him. So I did. It's part of the legacy I want to build for him and our family. The legacy of taking creative action. One rule in our family: Life is not a spectator sport. Another rule: Keep moving forward... ebb and flow on the river of life, but keep moving forward. (If you're wondering, we also have rules like put your god#*mn dirty socks in the hamper and normal stuff too.)
Which leads me to the other of my biggest Accomplishments, Business & Personal... and that's being truly happy. I build my dreams everyday, learn, try, triumph, and step into each day with gratitude and high expectations. I am fulfilled. AND I give all these things to other people as part of my True Purpose here on Earth. I help people acheive greatness. I make people laugh. People are better, smarter, happier, more inspired, or all of those things because of their connection and interaction with ME. That. is. awesome. Yay for the good life! (High-five, Kanye!)
